Raising a child is not an easy task; it is a challenging experience. When couples become parents for the first time, they experience a lot of new things, and their life gets a whole new meaning. But it is not the job of one parent; sharing the load is the key to proper development and good parenting.
A child can survive with a single parent, but several child psychologists agree that both parents must share the load because it is in the best interest of their child. The role of the father is equally crucial to that of the mothers.
Now, males are not the only breadwinners of the house as females have entered the workforce as well. The change in family life has also impacted the role of fathers and mothers at home and work. Females need to conserve their strength for the office work; that is why both mother and father should take equal parts in raising their children. In this way, conserving strength is possible for them.
In this article, we will discuss why sharing the load (co-parenting) can set the development of your child on an excellent course.
Difference Between Fathers and Mothers
When it comes to parenting, both parents have different approaches, and they bring unalike emotions to interconnect with their kids. Moreover, the children respond differently to these distinct interactions.
While interacting with kids, the mother is more nurturing and tender, whereas the fathers are more likely to be unpredictable and exciting. The children notice the differences between these qualities and learn and react accordingly. Overall, it benefits the child in understanding the differences between both the parents.
The Teamwork of the Parents
It is essential to form teams and build a strong relationship for the parents to be successful at sharing the load and responsibilities of having a kid. If one parent sees his or her partner struggling, he or she should step in and help. It will help them balance out the stress of parenting.
And most importantly, both mother and father should be on the same page. Communication is a vital key to avoid all sorts of conflicts. Ineffective communication can damage the emotional health of a child as well.
The parents who are successfully co-parenting are less likely to have stress. Their stress levels are low, and they work out any conflict productively and healthily. It is not only beneficial for the parents, but the child also picks up and learns this quality and uses it in his interactions with other children and friends.
It will not only help your child negotiate but also solve the conflicts very well as they grow.
How to Make Co-Parenting Work
The balance and the assignments of the task vary from family to family. So, you have to look out what can work in your case and what cannot. But if your current jobs make it impossible to do an actual 50-50 split, there still can be the ways to even out things.
The Shift of a Mindset
The most challenging task is to change the thinking of yourself as the CEO of the household to be a team. But you can make it work if you stay consistent and trustworthy. Share the tasks and assign the responsibilities. And if you are a parent who does more work, then you must recognize that letting go is a process.
Shifting to a shared mindset can be hard at first, but with time, things get better.
Divorced couples must get better at respecting each other’s plans and checking in with each other. Communication is an essential part of any relationship or teamwork. Since you both do not live together, so you must maintain your contact and keep a check on each other’s schedules.
In this way, no one will miss their crucial plans. One of the benefits of shared parenting is that each partner gets enough free time for him or herself. The communication is not only vital with your partner but with your child as well. It would help if you shared the plan with your child, so he or she gets an idea about what will happen next and what to expect.
Be Honest About Your Priorities And Strengths
Shared parenting works best when both parents can do every kind of job. But it is fair to assign a few jobs based on who does them better and enjoys doing the most. It is because if you value a task more, then it may frustrate you if it does not get done.
A healthy discussion between the couples is a must on what is crucial to them individually and what is essential as a family. One parent might care about the dresses of the kids, whereas the other would worry about the completion of their homework.
Make Co-Parenting Visible
For divorced couples, everybody must know that you both are playing an equal part in raising your child. It is most likely to happen that the mother gets the calls from the doctors and teachers of her kid. These are the situations you can use as an opportunity to highlight your team approach.
You and your partner can share the same email address, so you both get all the information, whether it is a doctor’s appointment or a school’s notification. By letting your partner taking your child on a playdate can give people an idea that he is equally involved.
Accept That You Will Do Things Distinctly
It may worry you that minute differences in your style can confuse your kids, but it is normal when divorced couples keep up with successful co-parenting.
Divorced couples who share the custody of their child feel it the most that the difference in their style and personalities can affect their child. But when they see their kid getting a lot of great qualities from both of them, this worry goes away.
When you share the load with your partner, you teach your children an essential skill of life. Primarily, you are helping your kids to be happier, more successful, and become healthier adults. Mothers are the one who provides most child care, but research shows that the father’s role is equally significant in the development of the child.
The ideal situation is when both the parents work as a team, share loads, and communicate well. It results in the best environment to grow for their kids.
Benefits of Co-Parenting for Kids
The children whose parents share the load and help each other in all the household and parenting duties tend to be secure and stable as an adult. The child with a single parent might lack these qualities.
Whether it is the manageable chore of cleaning up a spill on the couch or packing cute diaper tote, your child watches and learns everything from your behavior.
Psychological and Social Benefits of Co-Parenting
When both parents participate in child-rearing, it benefits the children a lot, both psychologically and socially. Co-parenting teaches the child how to sort out conflict in healthy ways and how to have effective communication. Children will practice these skills throughout their lives, so it is essential to set a good example for them.
Just like you cannot clap with one hand, you cannot raise a child alone. The roles of both parents are equally important, and both of them should share equal burdens and responsibilities. Co-parenting can help you give your best, both at home and at your workplace.
On the other hand, 50-50 parenting involves more communication and compromises. Nobody is born with the innate knowledge of how to do the tasks correctly, but with time people learn, improve, and improvise.