Having children is not only about the fun and joy of playing with them. Raising kids entails responsibility which must include discipline, molding their character, establishing and shaping their morals and values.
When disciplining children, giving rules is very crucial. It is a natural part of life that helps them learn how to cope with the different situations they are confronted with. Rules also give children the framework to understand what is expected of them at home, with friends, at school or wherever they go. Parents know well that rules are essential, but often it is a struggle to impose them.
Parents have doubts when setting limits to their kids because whenever they see their kids cry and have temper tantrums, they feel guilty, so they don’t want to fight the battles that may ensue when kids object. However, no matter what children do, parents must set boundaries and impart the principle that not everything that they want they always get.
Setting limits to children is always a part of rules and discipline. Here are the common types of limitations parents impose on children.
EXPECTATIONS LIMIT
These limits show your trust that your child can fulfill a request, perform a challenge or try something when their fears hold them back. “I know you can handle this.” “I know it feels hard, but I know you can finish this.” “I know you are a bit scared, but I know you’ll make it.” Parents must also learn well their child’s capacity so that he will also not be too pressured to fulfill those expectations.
SAFETY LIMIT
Limits keep kids safe from harm and from harming others. When your kid plays outdoors with his friends, you set rules on the things he can’t do like must not go far, must not climb higher places, go home after an hour, etc. These limits help him be free from any harm, and it also gives you peace of mind.
As your child grows, limits also expand, such as limits on the use of gadgets and the internet. This helps him also to be safe from any health problems relating to the overuse of those things. Meanwhile, you can also allow your child to take responsibility for his limits to prove himself capable of handling limits and being responsible.
Create behavior management contracts to help your child understand concrete ways you’ll recognize when they need fewer limits.
VALUE LIMIT
Each family has its own set of norms, beliefs, and values being upheld. And some limits protect them. For example, you limit your kid from eating inside his bedroom or consuming any junk food before meals. “No playing unless you are done with school assignments,” “I can’t let you talk that way to your sister.”, “You can’t let you take any toy from your friend.” And many more. It is also crucial that they understand why upholding those values is necessary for them.
MAIN GOAL OF LIMITS
To protect kids from physical harm.
This is the most common type of setting limits by the parents to their children. Usually, parents limit kids from playing in a dangerous environment or doing any harmful activities that can hurt themselves or others.
Keep children away from Emotional and mental stress.
When setting limits to your kid, you are not teaching him his boundaries and managing his emotions. Guide them on how to properly deal with their anger, frustrations, boredom, and sadness, but don’t cheer them up or calm them down.
Some parents avoid setting limits because they don’t want their children to be sad or mad. It’s okay to let your kids feel sad; it’s normal. Let them learn the right way of dealing with uncomfortable emotions.
Get them away from unhealthy habits.
Parents limit or control their children’s diet and not allowing them to indulge in junk foods, sleeping late at night, not drinking enough water, and not doing exercises. These are all because parents desire healthy routines for their kids.
Show Kids that You Genuinely Care
Often, kids test limits just to see how adults will react. That’s why sometimes, regardless of how many times you say ‘no’ to them, they will still disobey because they will test how you will respond and react.
Giving your children negative consequences every time they break the rules or disobey your command makes them realize that you are the one who is in control. Remind them constantly that you just want the best for them and keep them away from getting hurt and from bad habits or improper behavior. Always ensure that your limitations direct them to realize that you care too much for them and truly love them.