Introduction
Parenting is not an easy task, especially for first-timers. Aside from making sure that your kid eats three times a day, and is attending school, parents also have to nurture and guide their child as they grow into a young adult. However, the journey is never easy as children may show various needs and undesirable behavior while growing up that can leave us frustrated and impatient with our child. How do we make sure that children follow us without them having to fight us to get their way, or being too afraid to trust us?
Positive parenting offers a solution to this dilemma. This focuses on using parenting techniques that nurture good behavior in children by balancing a firm approach with warmth, love, and respect. This is in contrast with parenting which uses punishment, yelling, and empty threats that can negatively affect the child and their relationship with the parent in the long run. Accomplishing positive parenting may sound a little overwhelming and difficult, but don’t worry, we are here to offer you tips that can guide you in your journey to responsible parenthood!
10 Important Techniques in Positive Parenting
Raising your child through positive parenting offers various benefits for their growth and development. This includes having fewer behavior problems, a close parent-child relationship, better self-esteem and well-being, better school performance and social skills, which can also mean less stress for you as a parent. [1]
While there is no official standard or set of instructions on how to do positive parenting, there are common important principles or qualities that each parent should have to raise their child well and to build strong and lasting connections with them:
- Maintain Honest and Respectful Communication – Most of the time, positive parenting will need the power of keeping an open line of communication between you and your children. Actively listening to your child’s thoughts, valuing their perspective, and encouraging honest communication with each other are all important in gaining trust and understanding. Speak to them calmly but firmly and do not shout at them because it only creates a bigger gap between you. But of course, active communication not only creates respect but it helps develop your child’s brain, especially their interactive skills.
- Show Empathy and Put Yourself in Their Shoes – As someone who has equally experienced childhood, parents must be patient with their child and understand where they are coming from, especially when they show undesirable behavior. When they experience problems or make mistakes, show your child that you understand and validate their emotions and experiences. If possible, you can also share your experiences as well as techniques that you use for similar situations.
- Set Boundaries Kindly and with Love – Positive parenting is not permissive parenting where you let children get away with everything. You can still teach them good behavior and respect around the household even without being harsh or threatening them. To set clear limits positively, you can sit down and have a talk with them about the rules in your house and tell them about the consequences before you implement them. For example, instead of saying “Do not play with matches or I will send you to your room” you can explain to them the dangers of playing with matches. You can also encourage them to follow by telling them the positive outcomes and why you have them in the first place.
- Use Positive Discipline: Teach than Punish – Instead of punishing children, whether verbally, physically, or through restrictions, parents must show discipline through positive parenting by teaching children what the right thing to do is and enabling them to learn from their mistakes. Guide them through the problem or mistake for them to do better next time, and teach them about accountability or owing up to mistakes, problem-solving, teamwork, and lending a hand to help others.
- Pay Attention and Maintain a Strong Bond – Having a strong bond between you and your child is at the core of any successful parenting. This means being present most of the time, especially during the early stages of their childhood, and giving them the attention and love that they need. Spending quality time together, engaging in activities with them, and sharing lots of experiences together can strengthen your emotional connection, and create a stable and loving parent-child relationship.
- Be a Good Role Model – As a parent or guardian, you are the first person your child looks up to and observes. With that, positive parenting also involves showing them the attitudes, behaviors, and values that you would like for them to have and being consistent with them. For example, if you want them to practice good screen time habits, you can show them how you stop using your phone during mealtimes or an hour before you go to bed.
- Support their Independence – While it is important to give guidance and show some control over them especially when they are still young, it is also equally crucial that you trust them enough to make some independent choices. Kids don’t stay as kids forever and they will eventually have to discover themselves and go on their own journey. Allow them to make choices, take on age-appropriate responsibilities, and learn from their experiences or mistakes so they won’t be as dependent, confused, or lost when they grow up.
- Adapt and be Flexible during a Child’s Development – Just as explained earlier in supporting a child’s independence, a child’s needs change as they grow old so it is important to be aware of the developmental milestones for each stage and to understand and create an approach or a solution that can be handled by their age. This way, miscommunication, and arguments can be lessened or prevented.
- Use Positive Reinforcement: Encourage and Reward – To boost a child’s self-esteem and motivation, positive parenting techniques suggest that parents acknowledge and praise their child’s efforts and achievements. You can either give them positive attention, praise, or even tangible rewards. Positive reinforcement can also be applied if they complete a task and they commit a few lapses. You can still praise them for what they did right and guide them through their mistakes.
- Take care of your own well-being – In positive parenting, taking care of yourself is just as important as following the principles mentioned above. Think about it as refilling your cup so that you can pour whatever you have into others. You must always consider your emotional and physical health as it can also influence your ability to raise your children well. By prioritizing rest and self-care you not only learn to value yourself, but you also teach your child self-respect and maintain a balanced life.
Conclusion
Positive parenting is not just about raising children, but it is also about raising children who will grow into nurturing, confident, and compassionate individuals prepared to face the world. With the techniques we have provided, and with your determination and patience, you can start to create a healthy relationship with your children. With your initiative and efforts, the examples and knowledge of positive parenting will be cherished and will ripple toward future generations.
References
[1] Li, P. (2023). 9 Essential Positive Parenting Tip, The Definitive Guide. Parenting for Brain. https://www.parentingforbrain.com/what-is-positive-parenting/
[2] 11 positive parenting strategies you need to start using. (2020, November 6). Prodigy Education. https://www.prodigygame.com/main-en/blog/positive-parenting/
[3] National PTA. (2020). 11 positive parenting tips every parent should know. Our Children. https://ptaourchildren.org/11-positive-parenting-tips/
[4] Child Development Positive Parenting Tips | CDC. (2019, February 5). Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/index.html